Who's so crazy to go to the gym after 3 hours of bowling? ME @@ hahaha.. I can't believe bowling is that fun. Was feeling so blue but it really drove away the blues and not only that, I kinda got hooked to the high of scoring a strike! Halfway through it, I went to take down the rates and hours for bowling. I'm definitely going back bowling this holidays..
Been going through so much emotionally that I honestly HAD to go to the gym to work out even though it's all the way to Hougang. If I NEEDED to see ppl working out in order to motivate myself, then you know it's BAD. Yes, if I had not forced myself to go to the gym, I'd be flat on the floor, not physically knocked out but emotionally. No, I must not give in to another session of crying. So I showered and literally flew out of the door..but forgot to put the laundry into the machine!
Seeing familiar faces greet you and smile at you was so uplifting that I did a whole hour of workout. But a nagging pain in my left calf really bothered me. It's the same muscle that got torn last year. Oh gosh I really hope it won't tear again! Must take care with my exercise the next few weeks..
Have you ever wondered if it's worth carrying on a relationship when you feel there's no trust or connection anymore? Well i ask myself that everyday. It comes to the point I feel so emotionally drained that I have to 'shut down' for a few days to restore my confidence and faith in myself again. I only wish I can erase the past, go back to the beginning where we first knew each other.. But I have to be realistic. Other problems will crop up, even if I manage to start all over again. What bothers me is ... when I relate something from the past, it's never accurate cos I'm choosing words to describe it and if the words chosen are misinterpreted by the listener, then the message I want to convey is gone. I only wish I don't have to speak but just let the person look into my heart.. It's so painful to have to relate something I'd rather forget. Maybe that's also why I feel so emotionally drained lately..
But what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I tell myself that over and over again lately.. cos I really need to be strong. Even as I type this, I'm feeling better cos I know I'm able to pull through this. I know the truth will come out one day. I need not have to defend myself cos words always come across wrongly, but actions won't.
I've resolved to go bowling, gym, swimming and cycling whenever I feel down. Hey if I feel lousy a lot, I'd work out a lot and in the end I still win rite? Haha.. not a bad deal. i do feel proud of my toned and strong body, now just have to build up my emotional strength too :=) Thinking of my strong points and the good moments in my life makes it so much bearable. I'm praying for some bear-hugs, tender words and love to come my way soon too...
Too tired to think anymore.. Just looking forward to the swim tmr nite after my tuition. Gotta pack everything in the morning so its back to back - from school to tuition to pool and home only at 9.30! Now I'm wishing for more days like that, so i don't have time to think haha
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