Thinking positive sure isn't easy! It's like going uphill! But that's where the peak is, rite? I dun wanna sink into depressive thoughts. I don't wanna compare myself with others and feel second-grade. What I wanna feel is hope, faith, love and trust. I'm hoping to be a more effective and understanding teacher. I'm hoping to be a more caring mother. I have faith in myself cos I have abilities that will help me work towards my goals. I want to love deeply and be grateful for every second that people spend with me. I want to trust people when they say they like me.
I had a wonderful break today. This is one of the good things about being a teacher! Went for a hair trim and feel lighter already. Hair is still long, cos my hairdresser said my hair is too silky and soft to waste in a short hair cut. So I'm growing it out and enjoying the feel of longer hair! It feels so nice to touch and play with. I like to twirl it, wear it in a bun, let it fall around my shoulders and feel it brush against my neck and shoulders. I really LOVE long hair!
About Ris Low.. i think Singaporeans have been too harsh towards her. I like her guts and her sweet looks. She has the grace, height and slim figure as well. Despite her past conviction and mental illness, she still took on the challenge of entering this beauty contest. She definitely wanted to put the past behind her and reach for a new life, but too bad she had to be disqualified cos of something she did in the PAST. I really don't think she should be penalised for something that happened in the past, but at least I feel she had the guts to join the contest even despite knowing she might be penalised for it. She really is a brave gal and I think she will move on to overcome this setback and achieve even more remarkable things. My heart goes out to her because I know having a mental issue is a sign that she has been through hard times when she was young. I hope she will stay strong and resilient and more than that, I hope she will meet people who have the heart to help her to be beautiful on the inside as well. When I saw her video, I could sense both vulnerability as well as strength and resilience in this young woman. Some say she was not beautiful enough to win the title. Well I think the judges saw something else besides physical beauty (not that she's ugly actually). Perhaps its the way she carries herself, or something radiating from within her? Well I wish her all the best. She definitely deserves it.
Sometimes beauty isn't about outer looks. It's also not about righteousness. It's about triumph over weakness, courage in the face of fear, success after repeated failures ...and most of all, about forgiveness and hope. People are too quick to judge someone based on their actions but have they looked into the heart? Some of these people may have committed what is labelled as crimes such as fraud or even prostitution, but they may have done so because of circumstances or forces beyond their control. Just because a woman has not stolen, cheated, lied or is a virgin till marriage, does not make her beautiful. It is overcoming the weaknesses in us and through that, learning to be compassionate that makes a woman beautiful. How can we understand shame, hopelessness, failure and fear if we have not experienced them? To me a beautiful woman is one who is gracious and hopeful and holds her head up high despite setbacks and difficulties.
I'm going to sleep now. I've been loved today, but what makes me even happier is that I've learnt to love deeper than before. I've learnt to let go of jealousy and be happy for the person I love, even when he loves someone else..
