Metamorphosis

One hectic week over and so thankful for my colleagues and work place. It's truly blessed with the spirit of kindness and humility. After two years and half of knowing them, I realise I have come to the point where I actually will miss them during this holiday! I hardly think of my ex-colleagues now, even though I still keep in touch sporadically with one or two of them. This shows how we will adapt to changes even though they seem so hard in the beginning. There's a saying in Chinese - that the beginning is always the hardest! Yes, I'm finding this period of change in my life very very hard but I'm determined to pull through it. Like a butterfly that struggles out of the pupa, I hope I'd emerge a better person.

I'm going ahead with some drastic changes in my life and schedule and I know it will be hard to adapt but with prayer and determination, I know I WILL make it. I believe in myself. I know what I want and need now. Hopefully by the end of the year, I'd look back on this period and smile cos what did not kill me only made me stronger. This whole month since the beginning of May has been one of the DARKEST periods in my life. I don't remember crying so much in a long time. Thank God for my good friends like Anita, Rosiah and last, but not least, God Himself for being there and believing in me when I needed them most. Yes, I'm not perfect but I know my heart has never meant evil. I will never forget the verse: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalms 23:4. I've been clinging on to that verse in my heart..

Went for a really good run just now at 8 pm after preparing dinner, listening to my ipod as I ran around bishan. In fact I've been listening to the songs by Casting Crowns over n over again on my ipod all this while. I can't get enough of listening about God's mercy and love for me.

Looking forward to my three weeks of holidays. It's going to be HECTIC - but one thing for sure, I won't stop believing in myself, in God and in my friends who have stood by me. I will continue to exercise and keep my body toned and fit. Forget about sexy! Wat I'd attract are probably wolves that will tear me apart haha. Wat I want is a healthy and fit body to take care of my family, work to bring home the bacon and to serve God. I'm going to go to the gym n pool more often where I can see ppl working out for motivation. Also can't wait to wear my new wardrobe of new clothes, bags n shoes that I bought over the last 2 weekends. Really good retail therapy! Well I'm not done yet - still need to get a new casual watch to match my new wardrobe! By the end of the year, I'd also have done some cosmetic procedures to my face and body to improve my looks so that I'd feel more confident. But what's more important than outer beauty is.. INNER beauty. That's about love, grace, commitment, sacrifice and understanding. Cheers!