I Look To You

This is the video I watched on CG last nite. It brought tears to my eyes immediately, though I can't really hear what she's singing. It's the spirit behind the song that touched me, just like the sermon that my pastor's wife spoke months ago. I wasn't really listening to what she was preaching but the words were like a paring knife, taking away the masks I have put over my heart. Whitney came back cos she found God, just like me..

For years, my heart ached whenever I see men caring for their wives and taking good care of their children. It ached even more when I see couples holding hands..whenever I hear my friends having a happy married life, going on holidays....and here i was, slaving away for my family but feeling so empty and unloved... I turned to the wrong channels and realised it wasn't admirers or flattery that could fill the void. I spent hours working out to get a fit and toned body that 'men would kill for' ...but i was still empty and unhappy despite getting hits at the pool and gym..

Then where can I find the happiness I so desperately look for??

Happiness cannot be in the form of a sexy body cos once that is gone due to illness or age, the happiness is gone too..
Happiness cannot be in the form of a pretty face cos that will also go with age...
Happiness cannot be in the form of a happy marriage cos that cannot be guaranteed...
Happiness cannot be in the form of a man cos his heart can change...
Happiness cannot be in the form of a car cos it will soon rust and break down...
Happiness cannot be in the form of children cos they grow up and fly away from the nest..
Happiness cannot be in the form of a career either cos you can be retrenched or the company can close down...

I have found my happiness in God. His mercy, His unconditional love, His grace and His forgiveness.