Back into the Grooove

Well to update on my last posts - YESH i did end up having a good Friday evening as well as Saturday! Friday i had dinner (prata,bihun goreng and thosai) with a friend and my friend really listened to whatever I had to share bout my work. For the first time I realised my work isn't so bad after all..Went back feeling really good and decided to set new goals for my work. Now I know why people seek out friends who really listen and care cos it not only makes them feel loved but also, as they talk about their work, they see it in a different light. Then as for Saturday, after a hard workout at Bishan Gym, which surprisingly wasn't crowded. Later i had ice cream at this place in Clementi - The Daily Scoop. I chose Surprisingly Coconut. It was nice and creamy, with bits of coconut inside. Wow, perfect ending to a nice evening. I guess it's the combination of shared sports interests combined with my need to have a good long nite out with friends that made the weekend so special :)

RE-FORMAT

Imagine...your hubby doesn't have time for you so you find a buddy and then the buddy doesn't have time for you either!! Hahaha..wat a joke right? Sigh.. I think something is very wrong with me. I really seriously need to reformat my whole being, my whole approach to life!!

Ain't gonna go back to the Republic Gym anymore. Too many painful memories of shared times there with my ex-exercise buddy. Besides it's too quiet. Been going there for a month plus. I need to change my routine, everything. Yes, turn everything inside out. Im going to work out at the gym nearby ..Nah, i aint gonna allow myself to get depressed. If your friends can't spend time with you, simple - just find people who want to! That's what i call PURE logic. No need to get emotional here at all. Maybe finding a new gym where I can find a new exercise buddy will help? A new gym where there are LOTS of ppl!

Swimming against the current

Swim wasn't very good today. Somehow my body still feels tired, either from the intensive yoga i did on Monday or from my period which came yesterday.. Anyway i just learnt a lesson today - that pride comes before a fall... Just after texting an ex-colleague about how well i was doing in this new school, I received a call from an HOD that i had neglected to take action immediately on a case that happened today in class and because of that, the parent had come to the office to complain.. geesh, it was humbling. I admitted my fault and told myself to be less complacent!

As though tat wasn't bad enuf, after my less-than-blissful swim, I came bk and found out that my son Mark had broken out into rashes after three days of fever.. Sigh i had to also go out to get dinner for my hub cos the kids had already eaten pizza and i had not ordered any extra for him nor myself since he mentioned he was tired of european food after a week in Germany. So after buying the food from the nearby coffee shop, I came back and told him that he would need to bring Mark to the doctor tomorrow morning. Guess what his reaction was? "I hate to wait at doctors!" So I told Mark "well you have to endure the rashes through the morning and wait for me to come back from school in the afternoon then. " He just kept quiet and went to take his bath. After that he quickly switched on his TV and got down to eat the food i bought. Not even a word of thanks either. I wish at that moment he never came back from Germany. I actually had a better time when he was away cos i had one less person to take care of. Can you believe that I actually dreaded his return yesterday? Well i tried not to show it. I even sacrificed my exercise, accompanied him out to dinner yesterday cos he missed spicy food. But what's the point of wishing all that? Only Cinderella escaped her hard life cos she had a fairy god mother. I can only dream of meeting my prince charming in my dreams haha..

Ok now to change perspective. Well i can meet all my own needs.. There are millions of other nicer people who are just waiting to become my friends :) I am looking forward to my pilates tomorrow. I am also looking forward to having a nice nite out on friday nite! Listen, WORLD, I am free on Friday nite, hehe!

Cravings..

I read in a magazine recently that if you have a craving for food, just walk it off..but what about a craving for ..good passionate mind-blowing steamy sex? That's not so easily walked off.. I think i'd start with satisfying my craving for a good nice date. Haven't had one for a long time. Movie, dinner and walk along beach is my idea of a nice date! I wanna chiong this Friday, dun care! Any one wanna watch Angels and Demons on Friday nite?

Keeping love alive..

I remember years ago an episode from a japanese TV drama..an airplane crew had come to rescue some ppl who were hurt in a holiday resort. A lady was lying on a stretcher, crying hysterically and though the crew needed to leave as soon as possible to bring the injured, especially her, to a hospital, she did not want to go cos her beloved hubby had drowned in the sea and she did not want to live either. Then one of the airline crew held her firmly by the shoulders and said almost fiercely to her, "Your hubby has died and won't come back to life. If you choose to die as well, whatever love you both have for each other will also die together with you. I was like you once upon a time, my loved one left me and i wanted to die too but then i told myself if i died, then the love we shared will also die. No, i must keep the love alive in my heart.. and so must you.. Your husband will live on in your heart .." I remember crying buckets of tears then and even now whenever i think of tat scene, i'd cry again. It's so true..sometimes when we can't see a person anymore for whatever reason, we are so heartbroken that we want to die. Its so hard to miss someone you love so much but then the love will never die if we still love the person even though we never be with them again.

Actually we can never guarantee that the person we love right now will stay with us forever...but if the love is true and strong, we can still love the person even after they are gone or left us...and the love will keep us alive too :)

Recently i am not able to see someone i really love...it is so torturing.. i did not know how i was ever gonna live thru the day sometimes.. but then i remembered this show and i told myself - no, i must live bravely and happily cos of the love..if the love is really so strong, then it must make me strong too! So even when the heart yearns so much for him, I tell myself that what's more important is that he is safe and doing what is important to him, and my love for him just feels so strong that I know I will wait for him even if its forever...

Updates..

Haven't been rambling for a while, hehe..been pretty busy wif work as it was the exams last week. Had my birthday two weeks ago on 8th May and it was such a memorable birthday as it came just before a long weekend (11th May was school holiday in lieu of Vesak Day) School was in a TGIF mood and I was looking forward to the bell at 1 pm so I can zip off to my usual Japanese lunch date with my son at Tamako Restaurant at Upper Thomson. They have this set lunch on Fridays - Sabe set and we always order the teriyaki salmon. It's absolutely delicious and cheap at $8.90, complete with Edamame, Miso soup, a small serving of chicken stew, fruit and tea. After lunch, I had time for a bath before meeting an old fren for ice cream at Icekimo (near Thomson V). I love their super durian waffle and Baileys ice cream! Got this fren hooked to the ice cream and so we meet there regularly at least once a fortnight to catch up as well.. My dear buddy Rosiah was able to join me for shopping spree at Orchard. I went to pick her up from Woodlands and had the opportunity to drop by my ex-school. Could still feel the evil presence of the Witches but at least i had my dear fren's positive karma to ward off the evil, hehe. Everyone looked positively oppressed and overworked, poor things.. no life in their eyes and no spring in their step ...well at least they still said I was looking great. Wonder if I'd look like this if I still worked there? The dejavu of cramped and crowded cubicles, busy shuffling of tired feet and the stale smell of piles of unmarked books and worksheets ... I told myself I had to leave soon or else I'd have more recurring nightmares of coming back to work there!! THANK GOD for the move to this present school I'm at now. Enjoying an extra free period cos my PE class has gone for Napfa test. Hope my cute darlings do well...

So i'm well into 45 now.. feeling the age slightly as I look at my blossoming middle.. sigh, why do all the extra food go there?? My craving for french fries isn't helping. I must start craving for more exercise. Was supposed to swim last nite but gave it up to send my dear hubby to the airport for his GErmany trip, seeing how flustered he was. We managed to reach early and had time to shop and drink juice. My son and I stopped by SK jewellery after sending him off, attracted by the sparkling diamonds and the slick salesman talked me into buying a pair of real diamond earring studs for my daughter's coming birthday@ $99 only... will post a picture of it soon.. Talking bout diamonds, yeah i actually got a diamond ring for my birthday from my beloved!! Yeah, still in denial and shock over it actually. Some days I open my drawer to check if I'm dreaming...diamonds are forever and wearing a real diamond from someone who loves you is the best feeling in the world!! But honestly I'd rather have more of the person's love and time than his jewellery and gifts...

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kid

Is it a coincidence that an author with a 'monk' in her name should write about a love affair with a monk? Well..this is one great book that I found it hard to put down. Written so soulfully,