A man walked into a lawyer’s office...
A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates.
“Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer.
“Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man.
“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”
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Who is wrong?
Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: “Up! Quick! My husband is back!”
Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: “Damn, I am the husband!”
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A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. When he finishes, he pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to leave, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda shouts back, "Hey, I'm a panda -- look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to "panda" and reads: "A bear-like black and white animal native to mountainous regions of China and Tibet. Eats shoots and leaves."
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