Rewind and Restart

Whenever I'm going thru a difficult phase or problem and it's getting me down in terms of spirit and morale, I tell myself to simply do this - rewind my life back to the point BEFORE the problem started. What was I like then? Happier definitely.. and I focus on that state of mind that I used to be in. Rewind my life back to before I knew this person.. I was full of zest for life - busy with my family, work and sports but in my heart i was searching for that something to fulfil me emotionally.. Well I did meet someone but after nearly 4 years, the relationship seems to be floundering..It's difficult to go through this phase when you dunno if it's on or off. You miss the old times but there's no hope of things being as nice as before. Isn't it true that when you're in love, you'd do anything to be with the person? I remember after the times I spent together with him, I had to do my chores, my school work and my studies and sometimes I slept at 4 am and had to wake up at 5.30 am to go to school. That's why they say love is the most powerful thing in the world. It gives you the energy to do anything and you're willing to make sacrifices. Well back to the present. Well that's what keeps a relationship alive - the times spent together, the shared laughter and fun. But when one party says that the relationship is now the lowest priority in their lives, and spending time together is so scarce because of that, then how can the relationship survive? I dunno..right now i'm peeling the petals off my blue rose - on, off, on, off, on, off.. i dunno.. maybe it's better for it to be off and I start all over again with someone that has time for me? But the problem finding someone that really clicks with you and that is sooo hard..like finding a needle in a haystack.


Well so my blue rose is dying. Even if it dies, the roots are still there. That's what I remind myself. I'm a vibrant and giving person. I've so much to live and give. That was what made the relationship work in the beginning. So I rewind my life to that point and start from there again. Last night I went to the gym at Hougang stadium. First time there. I told myself - I must start afresh again and go to new places. Anyway the Bishan gym is closed for the moment due to the YOG. Wow this gym seems full of exercise-minded ppl!! There are even queues for the cardio machines!! I went to the free-weights area to work out. Crowded, very crowded. But I was determined to do a good workout. So i went to a corner, picked up a pair of dumb-bells and started working out. The people there were really serious man! I tried not to look at anyone so that I can focus on my workout. But even then I did notice that the guys here are quite hunky. Some of them look like pros! Anyway I managed to get a bench much later on and did my bench workout, oblivious to watever the guys thought or felt bout a lady working out amidst them. Well I've every rite to work out my body too, even as a lady, i have muscles that need toning! haha, of coz i was only working with 1 or 2 kg weights compared to their massive ones. Then after a good session there, I proceeded to do my abs. Always do yr abs at the end of a workout, by the way, hehe..just a tip. Went to the toilet, freshened up my face and then picked up my stuff and left the place, feeling really good again. Then on my way to the carpark, I heard someone calling me.."excuse me!" I turned around and there was this dream hunk of a guy walking towards me. I did notice him in the gym earlier - a passing glance cos he looked like a Manhunt model. He smiled and walked towards me. I thought I had left something in the gym but when he caught up with me, he extended his hand and said "Hi, I noticed you in the gym earlier. I'm Gabriel" After I intro myself, he said "Wow you're still very fit..I never noticed u here before." I explained to him that I came here cos of my kids' tuition nearby. He said "oh you're married? Wow, your kids must be good looking too, just like the mummy!" I must have blushed from head to toe. Then he asked me where I was heading. I pointed to my car and he said "oh mine's over there", pointing to a flashy red sports car. "Ok see you around then," he said, and then he walked to his car. Just imagine, I came to the gym on a low note and certainly did NOT expect this at all! I felt like Cinderella who has met her Prince Charming, hahaha!!

Gotta go now, get ready for my frens who are coming to bake banana cake. I'm also learning how to cook korean noodles from my fren. Gosh it's going to be fun fun fun! Post pictures later..