God SO loves me that..

Today, I spend Christmas reflecting on God's love for ME. Yes, me. To those who know I'm a Christian, I'm a poor and disgraceful example of one by their standards. But by God's standards, I'm not because He judges me not by what I do but by what Jesus did. Well I don't care what others think of me. It's what God thinks of me that is important. And the more I feel His love, the more I feel the strength to live right. I realized that my efforts in finding love turned out to be futile and filled with despair. Like the prodigal son, I realized there's so much more blessings I'm missing out as His child. Why am I taking crumbs of 'love' from other's hands when my Father owns the cattle upon the thousand hills and is able to not only to give me what I ask or think but over and above all that I ask or think. No more searching on chatting/dating websites or looking out for suitors. How I hated those miserable, cheap, demeaning encounters! I often felt like killing myslef after each one. Now I have decided to put my search for love in His hands. He knows how to provide my needs for love, intimacy and security best. Even my physical and sexual needs, without me having to sin and experience heartache. I will stop looking for my own solutions and trust Him in 2012 instead.